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24 August 2015

Toilet Humour


I’ve got the best bathroom situation at my work rn. There’s only me and at most two (but usually one) other dude who uses the men’s bathroom. Even better it is one of those ones that are traditionally for disabled people, where it’s just this huge room with one toilet and you can lock the door. It’s bliss man. You gotta identify the things that make you happy in life. There’s just so much space. It’s like having my own personal yoga studio. Only it’s not quite as full of shit (Depending on if I had the morning coffee or not amirite). Ooft. Shots fired. Eh what are they gonna do? Slowly move into different poses around me? Fuck off back to Bondi. Nah I’m just brooding cos I have this huge pimple on my face and it’s bringing back some bad memories. I look in the mirror and realise why girls wouldn’t reply to my Myspace messages all over again.

Anyway I’m such a pro with this bathroom stuff I know exactly how much toilet paper I can leave before I should really replace it with a new roll. Just got that etiquette down pat (Unlike my blog writing etiquette which is assumedly still shit house). Also unlike my 17 year old brother I clean up after myself (Kinda just threw that one in there to see if he actually reads these). Anyway It’s good tho, I used to share the bathroom with the warehouse dudes and they were just brutes. They’d leave a completely empty toilet roll and trash the place and not even feel bad about it. It was just anarchy. May as well have set fire to the place. But yeah I’m in a better place now. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna go downwards dog some of yesterday’s organic acai smoothie in the bathroom.


– Lonely Kids Club

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