School carnivals—a whirlwind of sports, athleticism, and those fucking participation ribbons. For some, they were the highlight of the year. But for me? Nah bro. With my distinct lack of athletic prowess and an uncanny ability to be shit. And if that wasn't enough, the decision to repeat preschool left me navigating high school pretending to be the same age as my peers. I fumbled it so hard, and it reached a head at the end of year 12 when I finally showed my mates my ID.
Ah, the joys of being the older kid in high school—able to buy alcohol before everyone else and embrace the sweet taste of teenage rebellion. So, while my friends were struggling to find fake IDs, I was rocking the cool-kid vibe by simply pretending I was a mad baller with a knack for charming bottle shop staff. Little did they know that making eye contact was a whole other challenge for me.
Now, let's get down to the real strategy: surviving the dreaded school carnival. Year after year, I perfected my craft. It was a simple formula—enter the first race, conveniently arrive late, and magically vanish from the scene. Like a master illusionist, or our recent sales, I would disappear. I'd reunite with the boys later while the school officials scratched their heads in confusion. I had truly become the Houdini (Jewdini) of school carnivals.
But amidst the chaos and clever escapades, one year stands out in my memory—the year of the old, chunky portable TV. My resourceful / hoarder mum had handed it down to me, and on that fateful carnival day, we managed to bring Pingu to life on its tiny screen. Picture this: a group of rebellious souls huddled together, mesmerised by the pixelated adventures of a loveable penguin. It was our own little sanctuary amidst the chaos. Pingu became our shared addiction, our collective escape from the hours-long punishment of carnival day. Unfortunately, our love affair with Pingu was short-lived, as the TV broke the next day. But for that glorious moment, we had witnessed true magic—a world where Pingu reigned supreme in the minds of restless teenagers.
School carnivals may have tested my patience and athleticism, but they couldn't dampen my spirit for creative avoidance. From evading races like a seasoned pro to finding solace in the world of Pingu, I had discovered the art of survival. So here's to all the misfits and masters of diversion out there—may you always find your own version of Pingu in the most unexpected places.
While I have you, we actually just dropped this snazzy new Pingu inspired Noot Noot tee which you might like, and can see by clicking here. Noot noot.
- Warwick
