I was at a farm party the other day. It began as an amazing dinner but sort of melded into more of a shindig. As usual I was bordering the line between socially confident and socially awkward with mild success. Initially I was running around to all the different tables talking to everyone while getting progressively more inebriated. However by midnight I ran off by myself and was lying in the fields in silence looking at stars with a beer in hand. I’m the life of the party. Anyway I had to go to bed so I snagged one of the better rooms early with a lady friend. The first thing I noticed was there were no locks so I thought fuck it and moved the giant couch in the room against the door so people couldn’t get in.
What I failed to realise was the couch was so gigantic because it was a sofa bed. So throughout the night people kept trying to come in to use it to sleep on and couldn’t work out why they couldn’t get in. Unfortunately this occurred the most frequently while we were getting kinky but luckily I was drunk enough that I didn’t let this bother me. I also just realized this will be the first time my friend who hosted the event hears about this. Sorry about befouling your guestroom. You probably should have known better than letting me sleep there.
– Lonely Kids Club