I really freak out when I think people are watching me. I remember one holiday we had in Nelson’s Bay where the gym at the place we were staying at had glass doors and I didn’t know whether they had a pull or push mechanism so I just avoided going the whole holiday thinking that if I got it wrong everyone in the gym would see and laugh at me. I’d like to think I’ve matured from this but if I’m in a bar and I think someone is looking at me I freak out and create a new habit like pretending to bite my nails or acting like I have a super important SMS to reply to because I can’t deal with just looking back and smiling.
I think it stems from one time in year four when we had all just finished some sort of weird assembly event and the teachers said all the girls could now go to the bathroom as long as they skipped, and I was daydreaming and just heard the second half of the sentence, so got up and skipped to the bathroom with most of the girls in the grade. That was also probably around the time people started questioning my sexuality. It was very embarrassing and I lost all my street cred in the school. I still have flash backs when I bump into people I went to school with. Luckily I seem to be the only one who remembers these days. Thank god camera phones weren’t a thing yet.
– Lonely Kids Club