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23 February 2015



For some reason I just have this natural response of saying “enjoy” to people in various social situations without realising until afterwards. For example, when I go to grocery stores and I‘m not concentrating, I always say “enjoy” to the person serving me as I grab my shopping bags and walk away. It’s legitimately the complete opposite of what’s supposed to happen in that situation. Anyway this whole thing escalated when I was serving drinks at my friend Max’s mum’s 60th and someone asked to be taken to the bathroom.

So of course, I said follow me and took him over to the bathroom and as he was walking in I said “enjoy” then walked off. What a fucking creepy thing to say to someone in that situation, hey . I could have just said, “If you have diarrhoea, it’s okay” then repeated “it’s okay” again in a slightly gentler tone as I slowly walked out. Backwards. While maintaining eye contact. You know what else is creepy? When people take their wallet out of their pocket, open it up, then lick their fingers before taking out a note.

Actually by creepy I mean it’s amazing. I’ve started doing it, but I step it up a notch by also wiping my pinky and thumb through my eyebrows, followed by my moustache. I don’t actually have a moustache yet, but contemplating bringing it back. It would make me more closely resemble the father emoji. That’d be sweet. Anyway sorry I got super distracted there and forgot what I was talking about. Enjoy.

– Lonely Kids Club

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