So I went to Tokyo recently and that was cool. But oh man I was walking with one of the people from the Japan office I was visiting just super casually down the street. Actually people don’t really walk casually hey they just walk. I wonder if strutting is considered casual. I always wanted to try strut ever since that Simpsons episode where Bart scores a date and does the sickest strut. Anyway yeah so she happened to be female (pivotal mistake) and omfg this super awkward looking dude gives her the sleazy up and down very obviously then looks at me and does this creepy smile and nod of approval.
Apparently he assumed we were dating or something. I actually thought to myself “.. fucking white people” as I shuddered. I briefly forgot I was white. Not even my most awkward experience there. We thought it’d be cool to go to a “maid café” where the people serving you dress as maids. So we went up this lift with some people dressed as cats and then we got there and all these girls in outfits started squealing in unison. They made us sit down then blew some electronic candle on and started doing this combination of giggling and chanting. It was so intense. I was like hey I just want a beer or whatever but they said we had to do a package where we take photos with them and pay a million fees so we bailed to go to a normal pub. Old mate with the creepy smile would have loved it though.
So yeah that’s my full report of Tokyo. Ahahaha sorry. It’s a really cool place though I wanna go back for longer.
– Lonely Kids Club