Winston On Tinder

 

Oh man Tinder is a scary place. I kind of gave absolutely no thought to what I’d do once I was on there, I just thought it’d be fun to try this concept out as a social experiment. It’s like a scavenger hunt with added creepiness and sexual tension. So I guess it’s like a scavenger hunt at a Cub Scouts camp. Also the idea that someone could see someone else wearing a Winston jumper and think to themselves ‘whoah I just left swiped that dude’s jumper’ seems pretty amazing to me. The first thing I noticed as Winston is all my matches are dudes. Dudes love Winston way more than girls. Like way more. I dunno. Also holy shit this dude like TOTALLY freaked out at me earlier. He had a photo of himself covering his face with his hands so I asked if he was feeling sad or if he just a handsy person in bed and he just like flipped out and started being like WHO ARE YOU? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? So I explained I’m Winston (#slothlyf) and then he gave me this whole tangent in great detail about how much he wouldn’t want to wear the jumpers. But he kept telling me to shut up then continued yelling mean things at me. It was strange. So I just blocked him. I managed to do the thing countless teenage girls apparently failed to do. I defeated cyber bullying. Go team. But otherwise it’s pretty fun times. Some dude kept asking to see my face over and over with typos then demanded my snapchat address. So I gave him the snapchat username of a friend. I hope he gets a dick pic. Meanwhile I’ve been found by a people who are fans of the brand already. So rad. They’ve all been super lovely too. Also to anyone who feels like they’re missing out on their much needed DnM with Winston. It’s all good – we can always talk later and the discount code I’m giving out only works on the jumpers, so you’re better off holding out for the winter pack which I promise I’ll drop on Wednesday. Sorry I’m pretty drunk my amazing sister Cassie landed herself a new job and we had to celebrate. Good vibes all round.
– Warwick