Two short stories about my parents buying me clothes (Part 1)

 

Part i) My dad

My dad took me to one of those xemoxpunkx stores when I was younger thinking it was normal or whatever so I freaked out about getting to buy kewl new clothes and just got the entire outfit on the mannequin. Unfortunately for me the mannequin was wearing a black t-shirt with a sleeveless hoodie, these weird brown golf pants and a thick printed white belt that was worn OVER the hoodie. Fucking hell. I looked like a Jewish Joel Madden. Joel Madstein. I wore it on a double-date a few weeks later, coupled with so much hair gel that a leaf got stuck in my hair about 10 minutes into the date and the other dude happened to be Nick so of course he didn’t tell me until afterwards. To my credit I ended up “dating” both girls, although in hindsight, I never actually dated either of them in any meaningful way. One was exclusively on MSN and the other one only went on one date with me then lost interest (Most Warwick sounding thing I’ve ever written) probs cos I wore that fucking mannequin outfit again. Her dad took a photo of us on his disposable camera and I’d do anything to see that photo now. But anyway this worked out badly for me in general cos I ended up buying all these weird goth clothes and tried to casually wear them with Target clothes until I was like 20. It’s all still on Myspace profile bruh.

 

– Lonely Kids Club