Perfect Subway Sandwich

 

Okay so we always start off with classic chicken, it’s just the best one because their schnitzel one is fucking weird and more expensive. Generally always opt for wholemeal bread, as it’s the only one that tastes like real bread. Next, ask for marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese. They literally don’t even display the mozzarella. As soon as you ask for it they’ll know you’re legit. Customers around you may look in awe. Now get that shit toasted. Next, ask for salad ingredients. One at a time. It’s a rookie mistake to ask for all at once, they just throw it all on in skimpy portions. If you do one at a time they don’t know how much to give you to fill the sandwich best so you just get lots of everything. Also it’s easier to ask for more of any ingredient. Like another piece of carrot to compliment the 4 shreds they applied on your lettuce. They look like little orange decorations. Go light on the salt and pepper, let the mozzarella and marinara combination do its thing. Now you have a huge sandwich for lunch, which is what their mediocre chicken schnitzel fails to be, plus it’s only like $9.95. Snap. You’ll be more fresh than Will Smith in the 90’s.

NOTE: Yeah so I went to Subway today.

 

– Lonely Kids Club