Green Lips

 

So my first day out in San Fran was pretty weird. I was out in a place called The Mission (Which was pretty happening) and walking down the sidewalk. Innocent enough. My girlfriend passed me her handbag to hold so she can put on a jacket or something and while I’m holding this dude yells “Is that your husband or a faggot?” and I was just like whoah and turned around and it was this dude not wearing any pants with green lip-stick and a general strange look. I’m just so fucking slow in those sorts of situations. I’m like that scene where Homer gets called slow and then realizes it hours later and Lenny finds him while going to get a late night snack. Nick however, doesn’t have such a problem and yelled back probably the most memorable line of my whole USA trip, “Fuck off you green-lipped cunt.” The guy then ran off and did this jump / stretch thing which resulted in all of us seeing his arse in entirety. I then made the realization that he was talking to me when he yelled. Next time I’ll yell back something witty like “Well the jerk store called, and they said they’re running out of YOU.” Yeah. That’ll show him. New Seinfeld pocket tees dropping in the new range on the 23rd of May. How smooth was that. George pocket tee confirmed btw.

 

– Lonely Kids Club