Corporal Jeans


I plan on starting a new clothing store. I’m going to call it Corporal Jeans. It will open up everywhere like Starbucks and mass market an alternate image, so everyone can look cool and different in the same clothes. When summer comes around all it’ll have in the windows for the whole season is tacky oversized graphic singlets and shorts that look like they’re from Target but with an $80 price tag. Most of them will just be faded white with thin blue stripes. It will be mandatory for floor staff to rail MDMA hourly, and be overwhelmingly excited about anyone that enters the store. They will make the staff at Boost look comatose by comparison. They will also all have to act incredibly smug about being in the fashion industry when in reality they just work in retail. Also all the televisions in the store will play repeated footage (in vintage colouring) of “youths” posing in hip clothes lazily protesting in different settings but make no reference to what anyone is actually opposing (No, they really do that. It’s weird).


– Lonely Kids Club | Boutique T-shirt Label


Picture by Angie:


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