Coming on strong

 

Sometimes if I’m out and drunk I’ll just fuck with people to see what I can get away with. Generally if they’re any fun it’ll turn into comical banter. But apparently not always. So I saw a girl I’ve met before / know via a friend the other night and said hello and asked if she remembered me, and she said no. Fair enough. So I did the obvious thing to do in that situation and apologised about my shattered emotions that were clearly spilled all over the floor as a result and explained that I might need to be right back while I help the staff clean it all up. She just stared blankly so I thought fuck it and amped it up again by telling her how I have a shrine to her in my room where I’m slowly creating a statue of her out of her left over chewing gum. Evidently she never watched Hey Arnold growing up because she just continued staring with the same blank expression on her face and it went on that vein for a while. Unfortunately for her Nick was with me so he chimed in saying I should grab a strand of her hair for my latest voodoo doll so we finished the conversation by me aplogising for that leg pain she would probably be feeling soon. I told her I was just going through some things. She didn’t show much understanding. Funnily enough we weren’t even invited to this event. Sometimes I need to remind myself that Tinder and real life are different things.

Speaking of which, there ended up being quite a few Tinder screenshots from the last blog post, but before I post any ordinary ones, my friend Corwen took it upon herself to send the line, including the “warwick” at the end  to quite a few guys, with some pretty hilarious results, here are some of the best:

 

She could have most likely sent ANYTHING to this dude and gotten this response. Still, I'm taking this as a victory

Totally sexist that he assumed she was only trying to meet men, but it's nice that he complimented the line.

He jut had to know the answer

Also here’s one of the cases where it ACTUALLY worked just so you know I’m not making it up:

saD

He totally got that potassium thing from Ron Swanson.

Urgh I totally fucked up the sizing on those photos but it’s okay because this is all going offline tomorrow to set up the new site. True story.

– Lonely Kids Club