I used to go to these internet cafes every weekend with a friend and play games instead of studying or having real social interactions with other people. I was hella into Counter Strike and Warcraft / DOTA. I sucked tho. Anyway while I was in that hood I saw a printing place that let you make your own tees. So first thing I did was get a green tee from Target and print “ZOMG WTF?!?!1” and it became a whole conversation point for me. For anyone under 25 I swear it used to be a whole thing. I’m fkn old.

So I kept printing more weird things on target tees but didn’t think they were very good so started buying tees from weird obscure websites to sort of make it my vibe. It made me feel more comfortable around other people I think. It also got me really into the idea of making my own clothes and after a bit of research I found those print-your-own-tee sites and started making strange band t-shirts for my music project that no one knew existed to give out / sell to people.

PS I found a photo of me wearing the tee on Myspace lmao:

(We were called Huge Spider Pirates)

– Warwick

I was with my friend Hugh last night and we were walking past an outdoor training area, so I told him I could do a chin up. In hindsight I have no idea why, I had nothing to prove at the time, but hey I got cocky. Anyway that all turned to shit when I got to the bars and tried pulling. I realised that contrary to my earlier belief, I can not do a chin-up. At all. I think i’ve been doing chin-ups on a half-height this whole time. Who knew (not me, evidently).

I tried rocking back and fourth to gain momentum like I had seen playing Donkey Kong Country as a child, but this did not work well. To make it worse, I also interrupted some dude’s work-out routine to do this failed chin-up, and swing around for a bit. As I got down said it was because the bar was too high, and everyone laughed, so you know, that part of it was a win.

– Warwick

My original idea with creating my own fabric textiles was to craft them all into one continuous story, which played out range by range. The first of these fabrics being Sloths In Space, where the sloths were lost in space looking for Cecil.

I couldn’t come up with a follow up design I was happy with, so I shelved the idea. Years later, I’ve been working with Oleg a lot on stuff like the Varsity Jackets, so I threw the concept his way, and we finally came up with the next part of the sloth story: Floating back down to earth from space via parachutes & balloons.

I’m really into ASMR which is this thing where sounds or people talking quietly makes you feel all tingly and nice. I never watched Youtube videos of it or anything, I just did this naturally for years before I realised what it was. I had an epiphany about it the other day. Sometimes, when people are talking quietly, I’ll slowly lift up an object like a ruler or pen and start rubbing it up and down my back or arm. Even worse, I won’t even mention it to whoever I’m talking to, I’ll just start rubbing weird objects against myself throughout the conversation in the most nonchalant way possible. No one has ever noticed or said anything but I’ll just call a space of spaces that I’m a weirdo. It started at a young age. I think I was one of those kids in preschool who would rub themselves against random objects like corners of tables until uncomfortable teachers yelled “oi!” at us. so like, this is who I am. I’m okay with it.

– Warwick

I just had the most passive aggressive fight with my neighbours. They kept drilling really loudly into a common wall. It was so loud Louie had his feathers in a huff. I mean fur. Whatever. So I got Louie’s tennis ball and starting bouncing it as loudly as I could on our tiled floor. This caused the drilling to stop. We had three or four rounds of them trying again and then me bouncing the ball again but finally it now seems to have come to an end. I know Tools Down on The Block isn’t until 6PM, but sometimes you gotta break the rules. Louie was completely losing his shit the whole time jumping around everywhere in a frenzy with the ball. He’s sleeping now. I think he was the real winner here.

– Warwick

I was walking Louie this arvo and as he squatted over to take a dump, this lady walking by just stopped in the middle of the foot path, put her hands on her hips and starts staring down Louie’s asshole. No joke. She looked mad cranky too like she was trying to be intimidating or something so I broke the ice by saying “You can watch my dog take a shit if you like, I don’t mind.” Lmao. Should have tried that one out on Tinder. But yeah as it turns out someone watching my dog try to poop is what sets off my confrontation mode. She got all frumpy and said back “I don’t care about your dog, I’m just sick of treading in it!” All while still staring down Louie’s ass. Luckily Louie wasn’t paying attention or it would have hurt his little feelings, or made him feel insecure about his booty size. I had a poop bag out already though so it was all just a real bizarre situation. She kept angrily staring so I re-affirmed that I was gonna pick it up anyway and it’s so creepy that she’s watching and as I finished picking it up and she finally walked off. Thank god. Part of me feels like I really should have made some remark about me using a bag and her being an old bag. That would have been a total zinger. I hate that I always forget this stuff on the spot. But yeah. Turns out staring down on people’s dogs pooping is a real thing people do. Maybe it’s a fetish and she went home and had the time of her life afterwards. Mental picture of Louie excreting in her head, glass of red on her bedside table and a durry hanging from mouth. If so you’re welcome, overly aggressive poop-obsessed lady.

– Warwick

I was getting my hair cut today and I go to this little barber near my house. The guy who was cutting my hair was talking to me as per usual but we ran out of stuff to say pretty fast. So he kept saying “what else” and after a couple times without thinking I accidentally said out loud “why does there have to be anything else” and then it got a bit awks and he finished the rest of the haircut in silence. It was one of those weird moments where I thought out loud. I felt bad though.

–  Warwick

When I was a kid I used to spend hours on MS Paint just fucking around making these weird artworks. One day my mum saw one and out of nowhere asked me to print it out and sign it then she framed it. That was honestly one of the highlights of my time living at my mum’s house aha.

I think it was one of the first times I felt like my creativity was acknowledged or appreciated on some level even though it was just my somewhat creepy artwork and that was nice. Back then I hadn’t launched the brand yet, and I remember how excited I used to get about the concept of making clothes that people would look at and potentially wear. Now that actually happens. But it’s hard to think about how far the project has come and not just focus on where I need to be and how I’m not there yet.

It’s sort of like swimming to a destination that’s very far away – you only ever focus on where you’re trying to get to which always seems far away but you forget to ever look back and see that you’re actually far away from where you first started. I dunno. Maybe I wanna go swimming again. I stayed at a place with a hot tub once. It was nice until I realised people at the next balcony over were smoking durries and had a clear view of my junk. Live and learn.

Here’s an example of one:

– Warwick

I went on this excursion to meet friends at MCA (My first outing in like three weeks from having gastro) and my gf drove and after a lengthly search we found someone leaving their parking spot. I asked if we could have the spot and she said no worries. So anyway we waited for them and this dude drove up right behind us on this wide road instead of going around us and just left his hand on the beeper going absolutely batshit crazy aggressive with it. It was like that Simpsons scene where George Bush Senior is taking ages to order from Krusty Burger and Homer goes all apeshit beeping on him.

This is a post I did on Father’s Day which I wanted to put up here because if you’re ever feeling down this is worth a read: 

Happy father’s day everyone. This father’s day my dad said he was proud of me and for the first time I’m (sort of) a father with puppy Louie, so here’s a bit of fatherly advice / a short story for everyone:

When I was younger a lot of people saw me as some sort of dead-shit drop kick when I dropped out of uni, and couldn’t keep a job, relationship or life plan together. In their defence I was pretty useless. I got fired from about 10 different jobs. The fucking Shaver Shop fired me because I thought I fell in love with a girl on the train so got to work late (It’s a blog post somewhere).