I was getting my hair cut today and I go to this little barber near my house. The guy who was cutting my hair was talking to me as per usual but we ran out of stuff to say pretty fast. So he kept saying “what else” and after a couple times without thinking I accidentally said out loud “why does there have to be anything else” and then it got a bit awks and he finished the rest of the haircut in silence. It was one of those weird moments where I thought out loud. I felt bad though.

–  Warwick

When I was a kid I used to spend hours on MS Paint just fucking around making these weird artworks. One day my mum saw one and out of nowhere asked me to print it out and sign it then she framed it. That was honestly one of the highlights of my time living at my mum’s house aha.

I think it was one of the first times I felt like my creativity was acknowledged or appreciated on some level even though it was just my somewhat creepy artwork and that was nice. Back then I hadn’t launched the brand yet, and I remember how excited I used to get about the concept of making clothes that people would look at and potentially wear. Now that actually happens. But it’s hard to think about how far the project has come and not just focus on where I need to be and how I’m not there yet.

It’s sort of like swimming to a destination that’s very far away – you only ever focus on where you’re trying to get to which always seems far away but you forget to ever look back and see that you’re actually far away from where you first started. I dunno. Maybe I wanna go swimming again. I stayed at a place with a hot tub once. It was nice until I realised people at the next balcony over were smoking durries and had a clear view of my junk. Live and learn.

Here’s an example of one:

– Warwick

I went on this excursion to meet friends at MCA (My first outing in like three weeks from having gastro) and my gf drove and after a lengthly search we found someone leaving their parking spot. I asked if we could have the spot and she said no worries. So anyway we waited for them and this dude drove up right behind us on this wide road instead of going around us and just left his hand on the beeper going absolutely batshit crazy aggressive with it. It was like that Simpsons scene where George Bush Senior is taking ages to order from Krusty Burger and Homer goes all apeshit beeping on him.

This is a post I did on Father’s Day which I wanted to put up here because if you’re ever feeling down this is worth a read: 

Happy father’s day everyone. This father’s day my dad said he was proud of me and for the first time I’m (sort of) a father with puppy Louie, so here’s a bit of fatherly advice / a short story for everyone:

When I was younger a lot of people saw me as some sort of dead-shit drop kick when I dropped out of uni, and couldn’t keep a job, relationship or life plan together. In their defence I was pretty useless. I got fired from about 10 different jobs. The fucking Shaver Shop fired me because I thought I fell in love with a girl on the train so got to work late (It’s a blog post somewhere).

So this is a 100% real interview I did recently for an online publication that decided to decline my answers. Lmao. I guess they never learned about the wonder of Bunnings.

Anyway enjoy:

Short bio- Any details about the Lonely Kids Club, your career, interest, hobbies, quirks

I’ve had a pretty intense life – I grew up as a small child then developed into a small minded adult and now i fall over all the time so life is really going places for me. Sometimes I just stumble and then act like I never actually fell over and when that happens I think back to when I was just a small child and say to myself “Warwick, you’ve made it”

Favourite shoe store

I used to go the Hype store in Chatswood every week with a Brag magazine and assess the gigs currently playing and try use it as an excuse to lure the girl working there to go with me but she’d never go. That was okay though I just really liked hanging with her. Years later my friend saw her in a new store and asked about me and she said she remembered me / missed me. I was so close to locking her in to one of my own brand parties. Dammit.

Favourite store for t-shirts

Well funny you should ask, this charming little flagship store called Lonely Kids Club just opened at 58 Atchison St in St Leonards as it’s just blowing me away. The boy who works there is so good looking and it offers some cool vibes like creating your own pocket tees and a huge range of T-shirts. Definitely my boy crush.

Favourite store for a unique find

Bunnings. Where do they come up with that stuff.

Favourite accessories store

I bought my sister a necklace from Diva and she hated but then I gave it to my mum and she loved it so I’d say its the best accessories store for mothers based on that singular experience. I dont know what song is playing right now on my headphones but it’s amazing. Oh it’s Tony Castles. Bless.

Favourite coffee shop

Hmm I actually go to so many. Probably Caffe Nostra. It looks ordinary but it’s the most amazing gourmet cafe ever. If you catch them on a quiet moment you have to ask for an omelette it’s actually the best one I’ve ever had but they can’t make it when it’s too busy. Also such a great vibe.

The best place to find a gift

Get drunk and go on eBay and buy a tonne of stuff that you forget about by morning and then distribute them to friends as you see according. Worst case tell them you’re disappointed they didn’t get the personal joke because you put so much thought into it. Nailed it.

Yeah. My bad.

–  Lonely Kids Club

I used to be really, really into gaming at internet cafes. It was much more fun than studying or playing sports. Anyway one time this super dodgy guy came in and asked me what colour my phone was. I think he just came in and targeted the scrawniest looking dude who could find. That was me. First to get chosen for phone stealing, last to get chosen for touch football. Also can we just take a second to discuss that asking “What’s your colour bro” was literally his phone stealing plan. This wasn’t even iPhone days where you chose silver or black or whatever. We still all had those Nokia bricks. So I was like no I’m not showing you my phone ya weirdo. Was a ballsy move. So he kept pushing me about it and eventually got angry and said “Fine then I’m taking your ball then” and legitimately picked up this little rubber ball I bought from one of those $2 ball dispensing machines off the table and left with it. This was a real thing that happened. Also holy fuck this Nokia phone survived this round but a year later another dude (!!) mugged me on a train and stole it. I got it back after they caught him though. I can’t actually believe how much trouble I had keeping that phone.

– Lonely Kids Club

So my mum told me some crazy stuff about my bris the other day. For those not in the know, a bris is when yung jewish boys get the snip on their peen. Anyway I called my mum up about this the other night while I was out (as you do) to get clarity about what actually happened because my friend Max was doubting me and she told me that after mine was snipped the rabbi / doctor (it’s a dual employment thing) then used a pipette and licked the blood or whatever (as they do?). How disturbing is that. I can see why they mixed up jews and witchcraft so much in GoT times (I don’t even know what that time period is called). Anyhow I literally had this conversation with her on loud speaker. Just sort of jumped into a whole conversation happening outside the bar I was at and my mum was so casual about it. The kicker was she finished being like “oh yeah I think he might of died of aids. Or not. I forget” Cheers mum. Sorry this was the most TMI post ever. Every now and then I think to myself I’m getting more professional with this but then I think about it and realise “nah, I’m really not”.

– Lonely Kids Club

When I was a kid I had two specific themes at every birthday party: I’d always have a jumping castle and I’d always have a magician. They both worked well. People jumped on the castle and enjoyed some dodgy card tricks. Was a solid formula. But then without explanation one year my mum told me we couldn’t hire the magician anymore. Anyway fast forward like 20 years and I finally asked my mum about this last night. Turns out the magician wanted to pull his rabbit out of the hat for her / show her his Houdini. Whichever seems wittier. I’m not sure if my parents had divorced yet but apparently he was married. Aha she said one time he came on to her so strongly that she was moving a couch and he got all up in her face about hooking up to the point where she dropped the fucking couch and broke her toenail. What a keeper. He was such a pivotal 90’s dude as well – had that gross frizzy mullet and a seedy moustache. Also a vest. I know that’s a magician thing but fuck casually wearing vests man. They’re so uggo. May as well wear a fedora and neck-beard and just be done with it. But yeah so this all happened. Turned out his greatest trick of all, was just being a cunt.

– Lonely Kids Club

Aha I’m in this coffee stand off at work rn which is reaching boiling point. I’ve been in the same job with the same coffee machine for like 2 years so every morning we each make a coffee but one day one of us thought we should make the other one a coffee as well as to not be rude. And like the next day this ritual of one of us making us both coffee every second day as an alternating thing became a full on daily routine. I mean I’m fine with it. It’s a nice interaction with a co-worker (Spoken like a competent, normal social person.) but the other day he just never offered to make a coffee. It started off a day like any other, but hit 9AM and I was needing my coffee hit. There were like 3 unread emails. It’s too much. So I look towards him and make some cleverly disguised remark about it like “Can’t do these morning emails without my coffee buzz hey.” and then he said he’d make one soon so it was a close call but was okay. But then today shit hit the fan. Went the whole day without offering me to make one but as the best plot twist ever I had a coffee with my girlfriend before work so wasn’t even phased. Boom. But now it puts me in a super awkward situation for tomorrow right. Because I’m going to need a coffee and do I offer him one or nah? No one’s broken the seal of not making the other one a coffee yet. This is like the delimma of the century. I could wake up early and have a coffee and not offer him one either to fuck with him but not even I’m that weird.

NOTE: Yes I am. I’m doing that tomorrow morning.

– Lonely Kids Club

My friend and I are so addicted to Soul Calibur 2 I’m just a fucking gun at the game now and we play for hours at a time and then he gets angry and sits on me. But I just put up with it cos I’m better than him and he’s shit. Nah he’s alright. But nah he’s shit and it’s my current top skill so I’m embracing it as something to be proud of. Top skill on the resume bruh. Nah I don’t even have a resume. I just Kramer it and rock up at offices and help sort out the printers. I’m a boss with printers tbh. I feel the G spot where the paper jam is and make it feel young and full of vibrant ink again. I think I’m gonna print some new stickers hey. Just to give out with all the orders. And if you kids behave well and keep your hands to yourselves the whole car trip I’ll drop a temporary tattoo pack for you guys of all the mascots. But no stopping for ice cream so y’know, it’s a sacrifice. Choose your own adventure (I’d choose ice cream sandwich I think).

– Lonely Kids Club