50/50

 

So I had a pretty awks situation arise the other day. I was at a restaurant / bar with my friend James, and it was a great night. We had a few beers, dinner, caught up etc. Before long we were the last people left in the place and it got to the point where they were closing the cash systems up for the night so needed us to pay up. We were still enjoying conversation so just handed our cards at the table and I told the guy to split it 50/50. Anyway the guy comes back and hands us our cards / receipts underneath and I have a peek and my receipt is for $50. I’m thinking this is a bit much. I don’t think 2 meals and four beers adds up to $50 each. So I figure I’m gonna say something cos this seems suss and I ask if we can see a receipt because I think we were over-charged and the guy says yes you wanted to pay $50 each and the rest was a tip yeah? Oh hell no. I explain that “split 50/50” is a pretty common phrase for paying half each and no one ever mentioned a tip and the guy started super freaking out and kept saying they don’t usually do cash out (I have no idea what he’s talking about at this point) then in the most suss move of all time, pulls the remaining $20 out of his pocket. Oh dayum. So I take all the coins, put them in the tip jar, and explain we might go ahead and hold onto the notes. It was just a super awkward way to end the night. As soon as he took our money out of his pocket I had this flashback to when my friend came over in year three and stole all my Pokemon cards. When I called him asking about it the next day he said he was opening his jumper up and they were all falling out and he was finding them all. To his credit, his jumper falling story was probably still more plausible than this dude and his bizarre explanation into why he overcharged us then pocketed money from his own till. I think it’s important to remember in those situations that people assume they can get away with shit because confrontations are scary. But if someone’s taking advantage of you just stand up for yourself because that’s half the battle won already. It’s the worst feeling ever to back out of saying something then spending the next few days running over the situation non-stop in your head (we’ve all been there). Take it from someone who’s definitely not a naturally confrontational person.

Also hey thanks to everyone who tuned in to hear my interview on FBi last night. I managed to trash talk Joel Madden, refer to one of my own songs as a “banger” and discuss how my dog got impregnated all in the same interview. I’m pretty confident I ticked all the boxes of what makes a good guest.

 

– Lonely Kids Club

 

Also look who’s back! New drawing by Angie:

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