5 short stories about clapping


1. I remember a story someone told me once about an appearance Bono made at some big event, where he walked on stage and was slowly clapping, and said “Everytime I clap, a child in Africa dies.” and some drunk guy yelled back “STOP CLAPPING.”

2. When I was in primary school we had a school band playing during an assembly and a girl started clapping to the beat and one of the teachers was some fucking nutcase and yelled at her and sent her out of the assembly crying.

3. Whenever I clap at the wrong moment I always do that awkward thing where I pretend I was trying to catch a mosquito or something. I did that once during a speech in a lecture but we were indoors so it was pretty obvious.

4. When I was in year 8 someone told me what was “the clap” was, because prior to that it was just a killer song by The Unicorns.

5. These stories gradually got less funny. This has nothing to with clapping but I’m genuinely as angry as you are about this. You should send a complaint or something.


– Lonely Kids Club | Boutique T-shirt Label


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