I was walking Louie this arvo and as he squatted over to take a dump, this lady walking by just stopped in the middle of the foot path, put her hands on her hips and starts staring down Louie’s asshole. No joke. She looked mad cranky too like she was trying to be intimidating or something so I broke the ice by saying “You can watch my dog take a shit if you like, I don’t mind.” Lmao. Should have tried that one out on Tinder. But yeah as it turns out someone watching my dog try to poop is what sets off my confrontation mode. She got all frumpy and said back “I don’t care about your dog, I’m just sick of treading in it!” All while still staring down Louie’s ass. Luckily Louie wasn’t paying attention or it would have hurt his little feelings, or made him feel insecure about his booty size. I had a poop bag out already though so it was all just a real bizarre situation. She kept angrily staring so I re-affirmed that I was gonna pick it up anyway and it’s so creepy that she’s watching and as I finished picking it up and she finally walked off. Thank god. Part of me feels like I really should have made some remark about me using a bag and her being an old bag. That would have been a total zinger. I hate that I always forget this stuff on the spot. But yeah. Turns out staring down on people’s dogs pooping is a real thing people do. Maybe it’s a fetish and she went home and had the time of her life afterwards. Mental picture of Louie excreting in her head, glass of red on her bedside table and a durry hanging from mouth. If so you’re welcome, overly aggressive poop-obsessed lady.

– Warwick