Monthly Archives: March 2015

Accountability

 

Ohhh man I had the biggest case of trying to just be nice in a situation and having it backfire the other night. I was at a house party and off my face and saw a figure behind me walk by and it was around 1:30AM (no lockouts tho cheers bazza) by this point so for no valid reason (none felt needed) I turned around and was like “Hey I’m Warwick” and this dude was like “Yes Warwick, we’ve met about 20 times now” and that was a pretty intense response. Despite that, I legit had no idea who he was. Even worse, I was far too inebriated to do anything about it by this point. So, somewhat confusingly, I responsed “Oh that’s cool man, I can’t hold you accountable.” So obviously he was like “Wait, what would I be accountable?” so I went “Yeah I meant I would be accountable” and so he was like oh okay so I sorta just yell mumbled (when you’re sorta yelling but sorta mumbling) WELL GLAD WE GOT THAT SORTED and turned around and was like well fuck that happens to me way too often but I didn’t realise he was STILL there for me saying that. Urgh what a mess. It does happen to me all the time though. It’s why I don’t introduce myself to people anymore. Too many risks involved. I’d rather just call everyone bruh. Yeah. No worries bruh.

 

– Lonely Kids Club

Durry Angel

 

Ah man this one time while I was in the construction course we got handed our major assignment paper briefs and it was one of those subjects where one assignment makes up about 80% of the total mark and I was thinking well this is fucked. I had about as much idea about construction as I do now and even worse you needed to partner up with someone and my sole friend in the course wasn’t doing the subject. And then the most ridiculous thing happens, and I shit you not that it happened just like this. I was sitting in the aisle seat near the back because I was always late / leaving early and this Asian dude who looks about 10 years older than everyone else walks in through the door even though the lecture was about to end with a durry in his ear wearing trackies and a NIKE hoodie before it was any sort of fashion statement. He walks right up to me and says “Oi you want an easy mark?” I didn’t really know what that meant, but I got up and followed him out of the class because it seemed like a good excuse to leave. Haha solid logic. Anyway it probably should have been sketchy as fuck that this dude has not been a single class that semester, but because I skipped so many I didn’t even realise (I found out later from someone) . Anyway once outside he lit up he gave me a USB and said the finished assignment from last year was on there, and that the question was probs just about the same for this year. So he instructed me to just change it up and re-submit it and forge his signature etc. I was like one year out of school and already down to hustle so I said fuck yeah and I did. We legit both got credits. Haha fuck I never even saw the dude again he was like a durry angel but instead of flying down from the stars he was coughing up a lung down the stairs of our lecture hall and probs blazed.   I wouldn’t have known eitherway. I hadn’t done an arts subject yet.

 

– Lonely Kids Club

Bikes

I sort of never properly learned how to ride a bike. My dad tried teaching me but I refused to continue without training wheels, and he refused to let me continue using the bike without them and this stand-off never quite resolved. Also I realized I didn’t need training wheels to play on my super Nintendo so I just did that instead. I got thrown back into the whole bike thing when I was around 21 and we went to Europe and did a bike tour of Berlin but every time there was any sort of pole on the footpath I’d manage to go straight into the pole and fall over. Just fuck bikes in general. And those people who ride their bikes on the road just terrify me. The idea of just riding it without falling over is already an idea I wouldn’t feel comfortable committing too. If I’m on the road travelling I like to be encased in a strong metal structure to ensure my safety. I have the absolutely no attention span. Even writing this post was difficult for me and it was like 190 words.

– Lonely Kids Club