Monthly Archives: October 2014

Boy Problems


So like I’m pretty good at helping people with personal issues such as break-ups and all that. I like to think I can be the friend that’s always there. Just the other day my friend Steph said she was feeling down because she messed up with a boy. I asked what happened and she said it was a case of bad timing and bad decisions. Being the super relatable friend I am I explained I went through pretty much the exact same thing a week earlier. A bump emerged behind my ear and I thought it was a pimple so I tried squeezing it really hard but it ended up just really hurting. It wasn’t quite a pimple yet, and I shouldn’t have been trying to squeeze it so aggressively. This was the same combination of being a bad decision, and bad timing. The only real difference was that while her pain was long-term and emotional, mine was short-term and more physical. Pretty much the same thing tbh. She said “gtg” and left the conversion, I think what she really meant to say was “Thank you Warwick, I hope you pop your pimple and I rectify matters with my boy. But I feel so much happier now.” That’s just the sort of guy I am. Good luck Steph – And know that the bump went away. It wasn’t even a pimple it was just a weird little bump. But in regards to your boy problems should try move past it, because life’s little bumps always heal if you let them.


– Warwick

Old plane


Man I was on this flight back from New Zealand yesterday and it was the oldest flight ever. The man next to me was so old that when I said “everyone looks like ants from here” prior to the plane taking off he looked out the window and agreed with me. Even worse, when the plane landed they were so slow to move out that I started watching an episode of Friends and finished the whole episode before I was even able to get up to get up to get my bag etc. I wasn’t even at the back. Could they BE any slower (Chandler is god). No but seriously I’ve never seen so many old people in one place. I felt like we were on our way to a Financial Review convention. Also speaking of things that are fucking boring I tried watching the new Godzilla movie and absolutely nothing happens. Couldn’t make it halfway through. My break from the movie to use the bathroom was more thrilling. I wasn’t sure if the flush button was going to work or how loud it would be. Also there could have been a whole line of old people waiting. There would be no way to know. Fucking exciting times. I kind of don’t like flying. Also there wasn’t one single movie featuring Nicolas Cage. What a joke. At least something happens in his movies. Love you NC.


– Lonely Kids Club

Not White


Someone asked me the other night why I don’t really grow my beard out anymore, because I used to do it pretty frequently. I was actually walking back from the gym one night a few months back wearing trackies, a hoodie etc, and I had my beard at its peak of growth. Along with this whole thing I also had my hair all out everywhere but anyway I was walking back and this woman and her child were walking towards me. When the women saw me, she grabbed her child, and forced her across the road with her. I think at the time I just laughed it off because theyre going out of their way to avoid someone who can barely win a fight against a huntsman without screaming and hiding behind a door, but holy shit that it actually happened hey. I think that was the point I accepted that I’m officially not white. Well shit. I don’t know if I can order taxis at night anymore or listen to Smooth FM and get away with it. Dammit my life is falling apart already.


– Lonely Kids Club