I was in a sushi shop a few minutes ago buying some delicious Japanese food for dinner like the lazy shit I am. I’m white so I obvs just got teriyaki chicken like we all do. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Whenever I used to go out and get Indian food as a group I’d be the one that ordered butter chicken and everyone would be like “Omg Warwick you’re so uncultured hahaha” or whatever patronizing shit they came up with to make themselves feel like they’re getting the most out of their Sydney uni degree.
Anyway when the food arrived everyone would absolutely pounce on my butter chicken like it’s the only edible thing on the whole fucking table while their mush flavoured mush curry sat their unwanted and questioning its life / where things went wrong.
Anyhow at the Japanese restaurant I was at they had some sort of deal where if you bought 3 sushi packs you got the third one free, so while I was waiting on my white boi bento box this lady went in and picked 3 things. Then she wanted to round the price down $1 cheaper on her final brown rice sushi roll so she could feel healthy even though she probs ate a kit-kat on the way because she just really needed to take a break and that advertising campaign was very memorable. Although the person serving was apparently equally determined for her to pay this extra $1. Maybe she also needed a break and wanted to put the money through to her own Kit Kat. I don’t know why I'm thinking about Kit Kats. But this fucking $1 argument went on the whole 8 minutes I was waiting for my food. It was the ultimate showdown of stinginess with the coveted $1 at stake.
It eventually diffused with the lady downgrading from her brown rice to regular rice like a pleb, and explaining the restaurant is now losing money as a result. She sure showed them. Fuck. Now I need a break.
– Warwick
