Monthly Archives: September 2014

YOSH

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I really love Josh he’s going to model the next range and he doesn’t shut the fuck up about  Ariana Grande for some reason I don’t know why. One time we went to a fancy dinner and our friend started dating a boy who was too cool to talk to us so we spent the whole night making jokes about it getting less and less subtle and I had the time of my life. If only I was able to blow it off that well back in school. Anyway yeah so next range photos will feature a bearded boy with long hair heads up. Hopefully happening next month. Labels arrived today. They look so cute they’re woven and everything.

 

– Lonely Kids Club

Lock-outs and Uber

 

Oh man I had a rough Friday night. I ended up near hyde park at 1:30am and for the first time since its inception, I got to see the lock-outs in action. What a mess. Punters grabbing coasters and banging on the doors of pubs begging to be let back in, groups of people sprinting around everywhere. Was a weird atmosphere. Then within minutes, out of nowhere two large groups of guys got into a huge punch-up on the street. It was crazy. They walked up to each other and I thought they were mates or something then they just started pelting each other. One of the friends of these guys then also went onto the road, and started calmly directing traffic around the fight. It’s great to know that road safety is still such a key priority when you’re getting your face smashed in. Realistically, I kind of get why they’re doing this. These are both groups of about 12-14 people, and not to be an asshole but based on their accents and use of Lonsdale clothing we can assume they live pretty far out and it would be near impossible for them to get home. And they now have nothing to do because of the lock-out.

If they just offered some improved transport and let these people continue to pursue ladies or whatever else they want to do then it’d be fine, but whatever this is the city I live in now apparently. My friends and I decided it was probs a good time to call it a day and all ordered separate Uber rides. For those who don’t know, Uber is like a taxi service, but all maintained via a phone app. My Uber fucked up though. It pinned the wrong position to pick me up, and then my guy got lost around the city. So my friends have now left at this point, I call my Uber driver, explain I’m on the corner of Elizabeth and Bathurst, which is just about as central / basic  as you can get in Sydney, and then the group of people from before get into another fight with the police. They’re all smashing each other and yelling and shit, directly across the road from me. I look on my Uber app to track my driver and he is now driving down the wrong fucking way on Elizabeth St and texting me saying “where r u plzzzzzzzzz”. Jesus Christ. So I figure much like a year 7 relationship this isn’t going to work out well for me and just hop in a taxi to get the fuck out of this weird battle royale situation our government has voluntarily enforced upon us. I guess Barry O’Farrell’s plan to secretly turn Sydney into an RL Street Fighter 2 game is progressing well then. Cheers m8.

 

– Lonely Kids Club

Post

 

So I live with my sister. She’s very cool and we get along well, but the other day she came home in a pretty bad mood and was just starting shit with me, saying I don’t do enough around the house etc. This is the most standard housemate conversation ever but it just put me in a bad vibe so I retorted that I buy lots of stuff and she made more remarks (She can make so many digs at me in one sentence she may as well carry a shovel around) so I realized what I had to do in the moment. I looked at her and said “I sharpened all the knives in the house the other day. I just don’t brag about all it everytime I do something for the house” and it was instant game over. It was the exact thing to say to win the argument. She said okay wow sorry etc and walked off. Then I thought to myself – shit, I should really sharpen the knives now. Those knives are blunt as fuck. I was legit cooking dinner for my friend Fergal last night, and struggling to cut up all the vegetables. If I wanted to look after the house as much as I wanted to win arguments verse my poor sister, my house would probs be a much nicer place to live in. Sorry Cassie. This is what happens when you fuck with me. By that, I mean I’ll lie to you about doing a mundane chore then confess it publicly on a blog days later. Gen Y represent. 

 

– Lonely Kids Club

Bento Box

 

I was in a sushi shop a few minutes ago buying some Japanese for dinner like the lazy shit I am. I’m white so I obvs just got teriyaki chicken like we all do. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Whenever I used to go out and get Indian food as a group I’d be the one that ordered butter chicken and everyone would be like “omg Warwick you’re so uncultured hahaha” or whatever patronizing shit they came up with to make themselves feel like they’re getting the most out of their Sydney uni degree. Anyway when the food arrived everyone would absolutely pounce on my butter chicken like it’s the only edible thing on the whole fucking table while their mush flavoured mush curry sat their unwanted and questioning its life / where things went wrong. Anyhow at the restaurant I was at they had some sort of deal where if you bought 3 sushi packs you got the third one free, so while I was waiting on my white boi bento box this lady went in and picked 3 things, then wanted to round the price down $1 cheaper on her final brown rice sushi roll so she could feel healthy even though she probs ate a kit-kat on the way because she just really needed to take a break and that advertising campaign was very memorable. Although the person serving was apparently equally determined for her to pay this extra $1. Maybe she also needed a break and wanted to put the money through to her own Kit Kat. I don’t know. But this fucking $1 argument went on the whole 8 minutes I was waiting for my food. It was the ultimate showdown of stinginess with the coveted $1 at stake. It eventually diffused with the lady downgrading from her brown rice to regular rice like a pleb, and explaining the restaurant is now losing money as a result. She sure showed them. Fuck. Now I need a break.

– Warwick