Oh man Tinder is a scary place. I kind of gave absolutely no thought to what I’d do once I was on there, I just thought it’d be fun to try this concept out as a social experiment. It’s like a scavenger hunt with added creepiness and sexual tension. So I guess it’s like a scavenger hunt at a Cub Scouts camp. Also the idea that someone could see someone else wearing a Winston jumper and think to themselves ‘whoah I just left swiped that dude’s jumper’ seems pretty amazing to me. The first thing I noticed as Winston is all my matches are dudes. Dudes love Winston way more than girls. Like way more. I dunno. Also holy shit this dude like TOTALLY freaked out at me earlier. He had a photo of himself covering his face with his hands so I asked if he was feeling sad or if he just a handsy person in bed and he just like flipped out and started being like WHO ARE YOU? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? So I explained I’m Winston (#slothlyf) and then he gave me this whole tangent in great detail about how much he wouldn’t want to wear the jumpers. But he kept telling me to shut up then continued yelling mean things at me. It was strange. So I just blocked him. I managed to do the thing countless teenage girls apparently failed to do. I defeated cyber bullying. Go team. But otherwise it’s pretty fun times. Some dude kept asking to see my face over and over with typos then demanded my snapchat address. So I gave him the snapchat username of a friend. I hope he gets a dick pic. Meanwhile I’ve been found by a people who are fans of the brand already. So rad. They’ve all been super lovely too. Also to anyone who feels like they’re missing out on their much needed DnM with Winston. It’s all good – we can always talk later and the discount code I’m giving out only works on the jumpers, so you’re better off holding out for the winter pack which I promise I’ll drop on Wednesday. Sorry I’m pretty drunk my amazing sister Cassie landed herself a new job and we had to celebrate. Good vibes all round.
The other day I stopped by a construction site which has been blocking off an entrance to the road I live on for weeks, and in anger I lowered my car window, pushed down on that striped ribbon thing that is tied to the two orange cones to form a barricade, and it just rose straight back up again. I was defeated by a ribbon. I also managed to fail at vandalism. I didn’t even realise that was a thing. I then kept driving feeling sad about myself. I guess it narrowly beat my other idea that I could throw a rock at it. I think this whole mentality stems from my dad who always says that I have to think about the worst possible consequence of any action before I do it. That’s exactly what I did at the construction site. I was like well shit, if I knock over the cones it could block the road and disrupt other people driving. That wasn’t a risk that I could take at this time in my life. Still, I think it’s now time for me to start wearing lad clothes for some reason and releasing tees that just say one word like “LONELY” in Helvetica and maybe throw a skull in there and sell them for $60 each because I’m officially streetwear now. Just embrace it. This is who I am now.
– Lonely Kids Club
Man the other day my dad said to me I don’t take risks in business and that’s just bullshit. We only have one male bathroom at the place I work and there are four other males who work there and I’ll go to the bathroom even though its next to the meeting room. Every time I go I face the very real risk of someone using the bathroom and me standing there awkwardly when there might potentially be a meeting going on. It’s a risk I do because I’m a businessman and that’s what we do. Take risks. Also we use elevators that only go up. One destination: Synergy (New band name for a over 50s rock band). I spend nearly every meeting sitting there drawing cats with hats on skateboards anyway. But actually. I had a notepad with like 30 of them. I was showing my friend Fergal the other day. He liked them. It’s that sort of approval that keeps things moving. On that note hey thanks so much for all the support on the new where’s wally parkas. It means so much that everyone will get behind them and be so encouraging about my spontaneous ideas. I’ll put a photo up when I have one. Oh man I’m so excited.
– Lonely Kids Club