When I was in Hong Kong the only channel that worked was Fox News so I pretty much had to endure non-stop bitching about Obama and uneducated people yelling every time I wanted to watch television. On the bright side I now know that if I’m losing an argument I can just yell louder than who I’m arguing with and cough when they’re replying to diffuse the situation. I didn’t have much luck on the planes either – I made the mistake of watching the movie Drinking Buddies, which is like the Seinfeld of movies except not funny. Nothing happens for the whole fucking movie. It’s just flirting which doesn’t escalate. I don’t need a movie for that I just need go out to a bar. Before 1:30AM apparently since yesterday. That’s fucked. If this shit escalates any further I’ll take on the role of beer baron and sneak alcohol into bowling alleys or throw cheap BYO warehouse parties or something. Actually that’d be rad. I’d get a huge roster of upcoming electronic artists, keep the door price cheap, and let the party run allllll nighttttt. Oh also I swear I’ll get to talking about New York eventually. Haha sorry.
– Lonely Kids Club
Drawing by Angie:
Yeah so New York is pretty far away. I had to have a 8 hour flight, followed by another 16 hour flight to get there and then the same to get back. On the way over I was buzzed as fuck and went on a huge adventure during my stopover in Hong Kong, but I was so sick / overtired / jet-lagged on the way back I just sort of lost my shit halfway through the flight back from hong kong. Unfortunately this all went down while I was watching Thor. He got his power back and learned the importance of friendship or whatever Disney shit was going on (#spoiler) and I just sort of started crying and the middle aged Asian man next to me didn’t know what to do so he just started patting my back aggressively. This later turned into stroking. It got weird.
He didn’t speak English but we bonded earlier when I saw him stretching in the aisles and joined in. We must have looked like the strangest couple ever. Anyway so I had that whole situation going on then the flight attendant came to give my my food which comes earlier cos I ordered Kosher meals just for shits and giggles. So she came to this ridiculous situation in which I was in tears while watching Thor and this Asian man was stroking my back. I’ve never seen a flight attendant more awkward in my life and I’ve seen other passengers hit on them before. I ranked more awks than getting hit on. Urgh.
I think it runs in the family because back in the day I went to see the remake of freaky fridays with my mum and in her classic style she fell asleep 20 minutes into the movie and woke up at the end during the final scene where Jamie Lee Curtis was talking about how hard it is being Linday Lohan and then started full-on crying. I was like mum you didn’t even watch the fucking movie why are you crying and she was like “ITS SO HARD BEING SOMEONE ELSE ITS VERY EMOTIONAL” so turns out I take after my mother in more ways than just having her coordination and athletic ability. Yep. Good to be back.
Next time I’ll actually talk about new york I swear.
– Lonely Kids Club
No drawing by Angie because in my classic style I just wrote this all on the spot . Soz.