Monthly Archives: December 2013

Ending the year with a Bang (Nearly)

 

So I have a pretty hectic story I never told you guys from my travels to South East Asia earlier in the year. I got so fucked up on a night out with some British dudes I met at my hostel in Bangkok, I ended up blacking out in a dodgy hotel room while a girl was making some vague attempt at going down on me (probably not the rousing response she was hoping for at the time) who proceeded to then put me in a Taxi afterwards to get back to my hostel. I’m semi-confident that’s not even the worst response I’ve ever given in such a situation. If braces are involved that can end badly. Anyway I got back at 6AM and the British dudes were still up, because while I was gone they scored some weed but got busted smoking a joint by one of the guys who worked at the hostel and had to flush it all down the toilet before the cops came and then proceeded to point the finger at other people until the police eventually went away. It didn’t even end there. Two weeks later while in Laos a girl came up to me on a bus and said she met me in Bangkok and that I was this crazy dude dancing on tables. I had no fucking idea who she was. Most of the night is still a blur. While in Bangkok I guess.

Also I just realised my dad is going to read this, and he’s actually on a holiday right now. Hope your one isn’t quite so hectic, dad. Also don’t worry, I paid for the taxi afterwards like a champ. Your values are clearly inherent within me.

Double Also, this is the last blog post for the year. I’m heading to Falls later this week but as soon as I get back I’m dropping some hectic new gear including the new Summer Packs. They’re gonna be good this next year too.

Look how effortlessly I transition from talking about my (almost) sex-life to business talk. I’m so goddamn professional.

 

– Lonely Kids Club

 

Picture by Angie:

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Circles

 

So there’s this new social media app called Circles where you post news stories in your area and other people in the area can see them and respond to them or like them or whatever. I think the idea is you can post spontaneous events youre doing and people can see them and get involved. But it’s fucking dead. To test the waters, I made a post saying “Just banged my girlfriend” and it got all these likes from random people and some dude congratulated me and winked. Well don’t I feel validated. I categorised it as “sport” because I think that’s about as close as I get to exercise at this point. Meanwhile the CEO sent me a message asking for suggestions so I told him he should change the app to ‘triangles’. Then I sent him a follow up email telling him he should definitely change it to ‘triangles’ because that’s acute idea. There should be a social media app called dadjokes where people post up dad jokes as they happen and people can rank them or view random ones etc and it can cheer everyone up. Then there should be another app called jewfro which links to the hashtag #jewfro on instagram which is just photo after photo of chubby jewish men with crazy hair. It’s literally what I look at when I’m feeling sad. Try it out.

Also hey I know I listed today as the last possible day to have custom made stuff ready for xmas, but if you place your order it in the next day or two we should be able to have it all ready for you so if anyone is keen on snapping something up in time, like a jacket etc please order soon to avoid disappointment. Also remember the code “xmas” gets you $20 off any order of $100 or moar. It’s pretty cray.

 

– Lonely Kids Club

 

Picture by Angie:

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Frankie’s

 

I have a love hate relationship with Frankie’s Pizza. For those who don’t live in Sydney / go out l8 it’s basically a bar & restaurant which serves amazing pizza til 4AM and exclusively plays annoyingly loud heavy rock music. It also has a dance area where people who don’t dress well enough to get into nicer bars can go and bop to the stuff they used to play on Triple M in the 90’s. I went through an intense punk phase when I was 16, but it still feels pretty out of place. Anyway one of the last times I was there, I was completely off my face and stumbled and knocked a table spilling a drink. My bad. So these two girls sitting there just lost their shit at me, and started like shoving me and getting pretty antsy. I thought it was weird that in a bar with mohawks & ripped jeans everywhere and Sex Pistols playing that you can be all “FUCK THA SYSTEM” but if you accidently knock over a drink that’s a little too much anarchy for their taste but whatever. I wasn’t really phased by the situation, and expressed this several times apparently but my friends moved me away as they thought it was best I kick on back to the other part of the bar. So then another one of my more sober friends sits down with them and apologises on my behalf and explains it was just an accident, so they tell him to fuck off and throw a drink at his back as he leaves. Apparently by “fuck tha system” they actually meant “fuck that guy’s back”. So he then turns around, walks over to their table, and knocks ALL the drinks off in one swipe. How’s that for karma. Snap. Not that I was aware of any of this, I went off to stare at people playing on pinball machines and ask them what the best machine they ever used was. When I’m drunk I love to listen to people talk about the weirdest shit. Anyway yeah long story short don’t knock over any drinks at Frankie’s Pizza. They take it pretty seriously. #realtalk

 

– Lonely Kids Club

 

Picture by Angie:

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