Monthly Archives: August 2013

Coffee Table Book

 

I found a short story I wrote last year about getting fucked up & lost in a warehouse party and letting go of a lot of things that were holding me back and I really want to share it but I can’t because my dad still reads the blog (Fak off m8) and it’s a little innapropes but I think I might go back to writing short stories. I eventually want to write a book of short stories about every break-up I’ve ever had and get someone to illustrate each one and then sell it as a little book. Maybe even a coffee table book. I like coffee tables. Initially I wanted to make a coffee table book about coffee tables but I have a feeling it’s been done already. No one can steal this new idea though, because I wrote it down on a piece of paper and mailed it to myself, and that’s totally how copyright law works. My law student friend explained it to me in-between describing bad law review jokes and being condescending about my communications degree. Oh yeah. I went there.

NOTE: I kid, all my law friends are lovely, and speaking of lovely apparently some of you nominated me for a Pedestrian.TV blogger award thingy. They emailed me the other day. Thanks so much dudes! I just filled out the profile thang.

 

– Lonely Kids Club

 

Picture By Angie:

 

A Train of Thought

 

It’s so weird how some people don’t really laugh, but just sort of inhale loudly, like they’re struggling to breathe oxygen in or something. Because it isn’t REALLY laughing, it’s just a strange sound they’re making while apparently trying to breathe. It’s also weird how creepy anything becomes when you start licking your lips aggressively at the end of a sentence. Especially if you stare and let it linger. Definitely let it linger. Also, if you use someone’s first name at the end of a sentence, it makes it sound really formal. So potentially, you could ask someone if they were having a nice day, use their name at the end, start licking your lips and staring, then finish it off by inhaling loudly and you could have the perfect trifecta of social awkwardness. Just so you all know.

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– Lonely Kids Club

 

Picture By Angie:

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Tinder Surprise

 

Shiiiieeeet sorry guys I just got home and it’s 8:30 so I better get to writing and stuff. My friend Caitlin downloaded Tinder on to my phone and at first I thought it was weird but then I realized it’s just a glorified “hot or not”, which is fun when bored on a train so I’m pretty hooked. Also I’ve found like 4 of you on there now. If you see me “YES” that shit so we can swap creepy messages we’ve received. I’ll post my top one at the end of the blog post since Angie wont have time to do a drawing. Sorry Angie. I also started talking to a girl and my friend Josh said you have to talk for ages to meet someone in person, so after 15 minutes I said “coffee?” and she said “when?” Ha. I met her and she ended every sentence on a higher note. I think there’s a specific word for it. My one is just, “annoying”. Anyway the ponchos tee launch time / design is going to be announced on the Facebook page TOMORROW NIGHT so tune in. Limited supplies to start with so if you want one from the first batch get yr click on. Actually I don’t know if that’s even a thing. Is it?

 

Aforementioned awkward Tinder message:

 

– Lonely Kids Club

Abridged Saturday Night

 

Fuck I wrote a whole story about my last Saturday night, but it came out like an essay, so I’m going to try make is super short instead. Basically I just got really drunk, spent ages chasing after a girl, finally got with her, and made her promise to go on a date with me on Tuesday night. Anyway afterwards I realized I completely lost all my friends, spent like 20 minutes looking for them & texting, but had no luck. Ended up chatting to some girl about getting over her ex for an hour or so, then walked all the way back to the main train station. Got a bus, got too into a conversation with some Italian dudes, missed my stop, had to do a giant walk home AGAIN, but blasted music from iphone and sang along using it like an microphone. That was pretty good. The girl never texted me back, but I helped a girl through some pretty intense relationship issues & re-ignited my love of Sydney electronic act POMOMOFO so wasn’t all bad. Urgh. That really didn’t need 3 paragraphs.

 

– Lonely Kids Club

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Picture by Angie: