Monthly Archives: May 2013

Jaded

 

I was at a bar on Saturday night sitting outside with friends and I don’t really smoke much but I grabbed a cigarette off a friend (Or if a relative/conservative friend is reading then by cigarette I actually mean non-alcoholic beverage) and then turned around and out of nowhere this stunning girl was sitting next to me asking for one too. I explained I don’t actually smoke so we shared it and made general banter (Ha ha – Banter). Anyway after we finished she stuck around but the whole idea of a pretty girl being potentially interested in me was a little overwhelming so I turned into “mega-awkward” mode which peaked when I asked for her number by placing my phone in front of her with the dial pad screen open. Jesus Christ. She actually agreed to get coffee soon but didn’t reply to my text I sent yesterday afternoon. Haha shit. I’m the only person that could turn the occupation answer of “I run a clothing label and manage bands for a living” into a bad thing. I think I need to get a new move; “self-deprecation” is officially getting worn out.

 

– Lonely Kids Club

 

Picture By Angie:

Pass

 

I was getting coffee with three of my friends the other day and unfortunately one of them was Nick so of course the topic of sex came up almost instantly. He asked when the last time was that all of us had sex. So one by one everyone responded last week, couple days ago etc until it came up to me and I replied, “Pass”. I think that’s pretty indicative of how my romantic ventures have been progressing lately. To be fair I’ve been so busy pursuing my passions such as looking at photos of cats on the Internet and pretending to read books on public transport to look smart that I don’t REALLY have the time to take on anything such as relationships, so perhaps its all for the best. That’s what I’ve been telling myself, anyway. And who knows, I might even commit to new interests such as pretending to be interested in politics. Only time will tell.

 

– Lonely Kids Club

 

Picture by Angie:

 

 

Mannerisms

 

I realised recently I watch so many TV shows (On my computer cos Foxtel is $$) that I now naturally imitate some of the characters from them without even noticing until now. For one thing, in an awkward or comical situation I do that thing Jim from The Office does where I give this little smug smile and look into the camera. Only there isn’t a camera in real life. So I just sort of smile and start looking blankly at no one. It’s weird. Another thing I do is that smile Aziz Ansari does in Parks and Recreation where I make my eyes goes really big and I smile very widely and just sorta move my head around for several seconds. I end up looking like a meerkat though. It’s no good. Also if I spend too much time with people I steal all their lines and start using them excessively on my own. I’ve all but adapted all the lines my friend Chris says, and now I always say “Wassup” and “My man”. I never used either of those phrases previously though. This probably explains my evident lack of social skills.

In other news, I’m doing a Q&A with Mx Newspaper and I answered a few questions about my brand. Here are a couple answers I came up with for the last two questions. I legit don’t know if they would publish or not.

– Lonely Kids Club

Why I got fired from The Shaver Shop

 

I worked at the shaver shop for 4 days. I inherently wasn’t suited to working there because I haven’t been caught without stubble in about 5 years but I gave it a go none-the-less.  Anyway 4 days in I was on a train on my way to work and when I reached Milson’s Point I caught eyes with a girl who I thought was stunning. We just sort of locked on each other all the way until she entered the carriage and sat downstairs near me. So the train reaches Town Hall and I get out the train as she does and then we just sort of stare at each other up close for like 10 seconds (felt like longer) then for some reason I then just sort of froze up and wondered off. After like 30 seconds it all suddenly clicked about what just happened so ran back looking for her. I couldn’t find her. I spent about half an hour running around the city looking for her but to no avail. Eventually I got to work but the excuse “I was trying to find a pretty girl I saw on the train” wasn’t part of the store policy as it turns out. I should have read the guidebook more thoroughly. I caught the same train on the same carriage the following two weeks but never saw her again. Bummer.

 

– Lonely Kids Club

 

Picture from Angie:

Also here’s a picture of my friend George wearing the Fresh Cecil jumper and holding coloured jelly things. George is the sole friend I made back in my construction degree and an avid supporter of the brand. Also we get drunk together sometimes.