One of the stranger people my mother set me up with was this batshit crazy girl working at a jewellery store on Oxford St. I’m fairly confident I was around 19. In my defense she didn’t exactly “set us up” but rather told me to go into the store on a day this girl was working. I came in straight after an interview. Naturally, I was wearing black skinny jeans, faux leather shoes from ASOS, a tucked in white Lowes shirt and an awkwardly brown belt. I’m not sure if this ensemble was the reason I found it so hard to get a job or because I consistently lied on my resume. Perhaps a combination of both. Anyway I asked her out all suave-like after tuning her for 20 minutes or so and we went on a date later that week in Chatswood. The date was going well. I read a newspaper on the train over to the date so was making all these informed observations. Notably I have not read a newspaper since. Nor made an informed observation. Anyway she started talking about her ex. I rolled with it. Then she started saying how he used to hypnotize her to have sex with him. I’m not even joking. Nothing kills conversation like the topic of hypnosis rape. Anyway I decided she was a nutjob so made an excuse to leave early while she was going into further detail about how he touched her and never called her back. This ended badly for me when she removed a prior “discount” she was offering my mother on a necklace as a result. Despite explaining the situation to her countless times, she still holds this against me.
– Lonely Kids Club | Boutique T-shirt Label
Picture by Angie: