The Wedding

So I had to go to a wedding the other day. Unfortunately this one was an Eastern Suburbs Jew crowd so it was never promising. My sister and I arrive at our table, sit down next to a pudgy girl with hairy arms (a diet plan and wax strips should be on her want-list) and introduce ourselves. She nods with a smile then turns away. Apparently she couldn’t bare looking in our direction. Her friends then arrive and can’t all fit together. This proved quite a dilemma as they weren’t able to communicate with my sister and I obviously. (I was wearing a skinny black tie – I was never going to fit in) So one of them comes up to me and takes the chair to my right (My sister was to my left) to move to the other side of the table. Holy shit. I think that’s the rudest thing anyone has ever done to me in recent years. This dude was in his 30’s too. His name was Richard and he was really short. You can do the maths. Anyway everyone got up to dance so while they were gone I thought fuck it and moved his chair back next to me. They were overwhelmingly frazzled by this trying to work out what to do when they came back. I politely suggested my sister and I moving but they declined. I proceeded to get super drunk and hit on Richard’s wife. I know that’s rude but I’m taller and better looking. Also I’m capable of sitting next to strangers without needing to move a chair. That has to mean something, right?

– Lonely Kids Club | Boutique T-shirt Label

Picture By Angie:

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