Monthly Archives: February 2012

Interviews


My boss made the tragic decision to put me in charge of hiring and organising all interns. So I’ve done about 20 interviews for my next batch and I can’t help but base my choices of interns on assets such as how attractive they are or if their music taste is good. One girl I interviewed said she liked My Chemical Romance. I was already working out how I’ll phrase the “you were unsuccessful” email in my mind. Another applicant wouldn’t close her mouth. It was so strange. It was legit permanently open. When she’s disagreeing with someone she must look like one of those moving clown heads from that carnival game with the open mouth you drop the ball down (kinky). The ball then rolls down a little obstacle course and lands on a random number down the bottom. Does that make any sense? I swear it was a real thing. Yeah. Definitely a real thing.


– Lonely Kids Club | Boutique T-shirt Label


Picture by Angie:

Jason Biggs


Ah I’m so bummed out. I had this great post written up about Jason Biggs. I finished it by showing some of his shitty tweets are wrote “someone should probably tell him he isn’t so bigg anymore” but then my laptop crashed and I lost it all. Heartbroken. I used to look so much like the dude though. I’m pretty confident I would play it up as much as possible at parties. I would deliberately bring up that I looked like jason Biggs, then say how “annoying” it was, and act really flattered when the girl I was chatting up thought it was a good thing. I think the best it did for me was at the year 10 formal when I got the number of a pretty girl at the after party. I went on to spend the night with a different girl, however, thus she never returned my texts. I don’t think the Jason Biggs comparisons did much for me after that. But then again I don’t think Jason Biggs did much after that either.


– Lonely Kids Club | Boutique T-shirt  Label


Picture By Angie:

Baseball


So when I was in year 9 I had this fascination with baseball. Something about people throwing balls at each other and carrying about wooden bats seemed fascinating to me. Like a mixture of The Warriors and dodgeball but without the aggressive gym teacher. Around the peak of my fascination I met this girl at a party who was heaps into baseball and we really hit it off. She told me that her dad used to be a pitcher (which also fascinated me as I was studying Catcher in the Rye in class. I never did read past the titles) and I really wanted to meet him so I started dating her. He was really cool, he had a moustache and everything, but the girl and I had nothing in common so we would sit in her room bored while reading comments. One afternoon I got so bored I started jumping on the bed. Her dad assumed this meant we were having sex which he wasn’t cool with. He then sent me home and took away my baseball hat. She still wanted to see me but I told her that I had my reasons and stopped talking to her. I think I still like baseball, but no longer jump on girl’s beds.

NOTE: This is a fictional post written mostly by my sexy friend Justin.


– Lonely Kids Club | Boutique T-shirt Label


Picture by Angie: